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Finding Mr. Right – A 38-Year-Old’s Woman’s Search for Love and Parenthood

Amber is an OB nurse. For the last 12 years she has been husband hunting (since her early 20s). She has dreamed of having many kids and starting a big family. She has a sister that has three kids and has always wanted her own. Not to mention she wants cousins close in age. All this has mounted an incredible amount of pressure and serious desire. She doesn’t want to go the single parent route as she really wants to find someone to enjoy this journey together.

As she has gotten older these dreams feel like they are slipping further and further away. She has no energy to date and just simply feels burnt out and slightly jaded.

Let me tell you a bit more about Amber. She has blamed herself for not finding a mate for all these years because of her weight. She fluctuates up and down but feels like she can never get into a consistent routine because she has such excruciating sacroiliac joint pain (low back pain just on 1 side) and sometimes she gets sciatica, too.

So Amber will start a great routine over and over again, and it will be ended by this debilitating pain that sidelines her from the workouts and lifestyle that she wants. When she’s not able to hit her workouts, she cares less about her nutrition. And what started as a good intention fully spirals into being completely off and an addition of 20lbs. This is her literal cycle.

This is what she blames for not having found someone to build a family with.

From an outsider looking in, it’s easy to see Amber is gorgeous inside and out, her size is irrelevant and perfect. She has so many friends and has been in countless weddings. But she’s not perfect for herself and has struggled with weight since she was a kid. No matter the amount of counseling and trying to love herself she has a hard time with this. The pain gives her further frustration and small bouts of depression.

Amber started coming to Body Motion 6 months ago.

The pain was cured in 1 month, but her patterns persisted for another 3. During that time we worked hard to build new patterns in her body so this pain would be gone for good.

During this, Amber has made it back to the gym and back to her fitness routine. This is the longest that she has ever been consistent and she has never felt so good in her own skin. The energy she is gaining from the consistent movement and not having pain is life changing.

Last week she shared that she is going to start working with a matchmaker as she is just feeling so good and happy. You can see the love glowing out of her when she comes to her appointments. We are transitioning from biweekly to monthly maintenance now, and I’m so thrilled and excited to follow along this self enjoyment and dating journey.

I share this with you because our stories and internal self-talk radiate, and often they are controlled by “problems or pain” that affect us way more than we can ever imagine.

To say that Amber now has hope again to meet someone and start a family, is so powerful, but this all started because she found a cure to her chronic SI pain.

It’s stories like this that truly have me reflecting about what stories am I telling myself and just accepting, instead of facing head on to improve so many more facets of my life.

Thank you to Amber for sharing your story.

AUTHOR

Allison Feldt

Body Motion Physical Therapy

"We Help Women Through Fertility, Pregnancy, Birth, Postpartum and Beyond So They Can Live Active, Confident, Healthy Lives Without The Need For Medication Or Surgery"
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