No one can really put into words what being a mom is like. We might think before we have kids it will be this fun little adventure. We won’t impose the trauma onto our kids that we experienced. Our kids will be well rounded, not overworked or over committed, we will let our kids be their true imperfect authentic selves with our complete acceptance. I’ll be a super, active, hot, and calm mom. I can’t wait for these days.
Fast forward three kids later. Sitting at another oral surgery waiting for my middle son to get done. This is his second oral surgery; the first one was when Jayla was born, right after he turned 4.
I was just at the dentist 2 weeks ago getting Chloe her fillings she needed. That was her final of 3 appointments. But she has orthodontist appointments next week.
Kaneo has another hearing test next week, to follow up 1 month post his ear tube surgery.
Then next month they all have cleanings. You get the point…..
Yea, so this is what being a mom of three is really like. Meanwhile, when at home my kids are so loud. Like laughing, screaming with joy, fighting with anger. (And yes I’m grateful for this because they are healthy and active! We are blessed y’all, but that doesn’t mean it’s not hard).
And let me tell you this noise is triggering for me. Like I have caught myself yelling at them to “be quiet” when they are seriously laughing. And then I take a step back and wholly cow, my kids are just having fun. What’s my deal? Don’t worry I have explored on many levels with therapist and coaches ect BUT I breathe through it and come back each time.
This is our chaos.
It’s so intense but also so fulfilling. I would not have it any other way. I am literally living the dream.
Is it anything like I expected having kids to be?
Absolutely not.
But there is so much joy. There is so much love. There is so much noise. There is so much fighting. There is so much chaos.
Back to the trauma, as I have grown as a mom, I have decided to just start a therapy fund for when they are adults, not a college fund. Kind of kidding but life is full of unwanted events and all realms of emotion. What I have come to embrace is that all the adversity that may pop up, just helps form and create them into even better, stronger, and maybe happier people. Life can throw whatever at them and it’s my job to teach them that they get to decide how they respond.
I can’t protect them for everything and this thought helps bring me comfort. Without this mindset the mom emotions can roll in full force: anxiety, stress, guilt, you name it.
Life will be fine regardless of what does or does not happen but how we deal with those life moments defines our lives. And if you have made it to this point, you have probably been pretty darn good at dealing with those moments. If we strip out our fear, we will have a terrific life. If we can manage the fear and extraction of the fear then we probably look around and feel pretty darn good.
If there is one thing I have learned in the last two years it’s the importance of taking care
Of ME. When I am spent or feeling unhealthy, low energy or just blah, then I show up that way for my kids (and for my business). I also then let fear and anxiety creep in.
The number one thing for me to stay on top of that energy and in my zone without fear, is to stay consistent with my exercise, have more healthy food than crappy food and support my health with wellness treats 🙂
What are these wellness treats?
They are pelvic floor therapy sessions, energy work, massages, spa days, sauna time, creative thinking time. If I hit any 2 of these in the month, I am set up for success, for my family and for my team. Ideally a wellness treat for myself 1 time per week is optimal for me to stay in my zone.
What does it take for you to stay in your zone?
This isn’t selfish, this isn’t a waste of money, this is literally investing in the person who helps fly the plane. We sure don’t want the pilot to feel crummy. We don’t want to pilot to experience fear that they are going to crash. They gotta fly the plane and get us all to the destination in one piece.
Fear unmanaged can turn into anxiety and those fearful thoughts can manifest into reality. So its extremely important that you help yourself stay in your ideal energetic zone.
We love helping you stay fit for your job as a pilot of yourself and your family.
If you feel like you need to book your wellness treat of pelvic floor therapy respond to this email today and we will get you booked.
I will leave you with one final phrase from a mentor of mine.
“What gets done any time, gets done no time”
…. If you don’t make an effort to do it now, you never will. Your investment in yourself is imperative for your mental health, energy, physical health and mindset.
With love,
Dr. Allison
